tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56171382011-04-21T21:43:12.482-07:00Assprat PretentiaThe sophmoric rantings of a group of pretentious prats.Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comBlogger131100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1142373267918438702006-03-14T13:44:00.000-08:002006-03-14T13:54:27.926-08:00Ms. Pretentia is bored. And she's toying with the idea of bringing back Assprat -- the site will have to be updated, of course, but this shouldn't take too long. For those readers who are wondering about the latest pot shot at the Right Honourable Lord, it was written almost two years ago, but blogger somehow ate it and then regurgitated it to "draft" status. It's not really funny, but Ms. Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1086412373130813632004-06-04T20:25:00.000-07:002004-06-05T11:49:06.736-07:00Dearest fans, stalkers, hangers-on and assorted persons who pilfer our undergarments for the purposes of titillating their olfactory nerves,
As the man once said (I don't know which man, but he may have been a member of the Beatles), all things must pass. So too must a not-uncertain, but here unnameable, online repository of wisdom (although we pass substances of quite a different nature). YesAdrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1084777560318348622004-05-16T23:38:00.000-07:002004-06-04T20:24:53.743-07:00Giving Oneself a Pillar of Knowledge
Bill Toad (from his new book of villanelles entitled "On Herbs"): Pesto and hats are one and the same. Both remind me of my old friends.
Blanda: Am I one of those old friends?
Bill: No. You are like ravioli, if you know what I mean.
Blanda: I don't know what you mean.
Mlle Pretentia (whispering): Moi, je comprends tres bien ce qu'il veut dire.
Bill: Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1083380098250234822004-04-30T19:54:00.000-07:002004-04-30T19:58:06.106-07:00Welcome back, gentle readers, to the lovely portentiousness of Assprat Pretentia (yes, we know, we said "portentious", instead of pretentious, but we're special -- we manage to be both).
Bill Toad: You will all be glad to know that I got into Jail. I am currently free on $20,000 bond, courtesy of the lovely Blanda.
Blanda: Actually, Bill, you got into Yale.
Bill Toad: I got into Jail too. Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1082323353199873842004-04-18T14:22:00.000-07:002004-04-30T19:57:16.466-07:00We have been advised by several sources that Assprat has been going down ... on your mother -- um, downhill. Needless to say, we find these less-than-enthusiastic reports of our "performance" rather sad. Ms. Pretentia is an artist, but she resents being lumped in with the crowd still struggling to find their creative energy. However, Ms. Pretentia will be the first to admit that she has been Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1081200579615180332004-04-05T14:29:00.000-07:002004-04-05T14:32:21.716-07:00Welcome back, patient readers, to Assprat Pretentia! Whilst we do not have time to spend upwards of five hours per day blogging, we do like to come out of hiding every now and then to give the Right Honourable Lord William Baude a proper thrashing (which given the size of the area to be thrashed, takes quite a bit of energy).
We were going to continue our 20 -- ahem, 3.1415926535 -- Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1077498980181045552004-02-22T17:16:00.000-08:002004-02-22T23:08:20.246-08:00GAZING INWARD into a dark and particularly malodorous orifice.
And now: the conclusion to our last post that was so rudely interrupted by the time-restraints at USITE. Since many have asked us to post more information about ourselves, and since we do so enjoy being self-reflective, we have decided to turn our 3.1415926535 Questions feature (which shall consist of 20 questions, as our Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1077166767699273042004-02-18T20:59:00.000-08:002004-02-22T15:23:41.763-08:00The Assprat Central Committee has been informed that our numerous fans have been pining for us in our prolonged absence. No more! And yet, gentle readers, we are sure that you are anxious to know just where we've been, so we shall waste no time in satiating your curiosity. We were busy competing in the Quidditch World Cup and completely neglected our blogging duties. We have also neglected Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1065500489951167252003-10-06T21:21:00.000-07:002003-10-06T21:25:26.790-07:00It has come to the attention of the Assprat Central Committee that the MacArthur "Genius" awards have been announced. We are deeply saddened to note that our noble friend and colleague The Right Honourable Lord Wm. Baude of Cambridge, England is not among this year's recipients. Quite apart from his brilliant analyses of the implications of having one shower and two kitchens on each floor of a Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1060369432847800762003-08-08T12:03:00.000-07:002003-08-08T14:42:34.616-07:00Ms. Pretentia would like to apologise on behalf of all her component personalities to Assprat's long-suffering readers who have gone without a post for nearly a fortnight. However, we (the said component personalities) do have an excuse: unlike the sorry-ass correspondents of Crescat Sententia, Ms. Pretentia actually has both a life and a job. But this is all water over the dam -- Assprat is Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1059429728675403722003-07-28T15:02:00.000-07:002003-07-29T00:32:59.643-07:00Blanda: I find firearms distasteful and am an ardent supporter of gun-control laws, yet I have that irresistible liberal academic desire to be "open-minded". Therefore, I wish to have first hand experience with the discharge of firearms in order to determine whether they're really as deleterious as I have supposed. Could anyone please help me find a place where such first hand experience is Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1059365017322110622003-07-27T21:03:00.000-07:002003-07-28T11:17:38.496-07:00In regard to my previous post (I have no clue how this actually regards the previous post, however, as there seems to be a preponderance of this phrase among academic blogs, I felt remiss not to have included it in our inaugural post), I wish to do our readership (which, I am flattered to report, now includes the real William Baude) the great eleemosynary service of manifesting to them the Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5617138.post-1059233503106614502003-07-26T08:31:00.000-07:002006-03-14T13:25:01.090-08:00Welcome one and all to the inauguration of Assprat Pretentia! Whilst primarily a forum for the author to parody an horrifically pretentious (and quite often merely horrific) group of jackasses, this blog will also serve to give voice to the pretentious rants of the author's multiple personalities, which we (the said personalities) hereby confess to be every bit as pretentious as those of the Adrianhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03175312522803719356noreply@blogger.com